Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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