I feel great
I just peed on a car
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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