He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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