I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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