He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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