I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
