Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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