if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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