so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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