i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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