I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
