he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
