I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize