yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
