what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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