awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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