I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
