I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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