chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
