The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
