glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
