I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize