You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
