She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
