Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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