I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Your cock deserves a montage
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize