mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
