im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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