The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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