Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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