maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Brb crying the tears of my youth
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?