well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Non-Jews are for practice
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.