Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.

(407): View more from Florida

I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.

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(860): You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you. (407): I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige. http://tfl.nu/6i4m

Replies (1) Good night (1261) Bad night (365)
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(562): View more from California

The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!

(916): View more from California

Awkward!

(562): View more from California

No he was cute and I said yes!

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(562): The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date! (916): Awkward! (562): No he was cute and I said yes! http://tfl.nu/pzog

Replies (14) Good night (2484) Bad night (652)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.

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(919): I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx. http://tfl.nu/hq1e

Replies (187) Good night (3937) Bad night (1806)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.

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(540): I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down. http://tfl.nu/t10x

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(510): View more from California

You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying

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(510): You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying http://tfl.nu/xlhu

Replies (25) Good night (1943) Bad night (5885)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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(704): It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States. http://tfl.nu/t1qp

Replies (16) Good night (6359) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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(647): View more from Ontario

It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM

(416): View more from Toronto

From?

(647): View more from Ontario

Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...

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(647): It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM (416): From? (647): Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table... http://tfl.nu/hv77

Replies (16) Good night (2304) Bad night (5296)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico

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(419): Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico http://tfl.nu/934w

Replies (18) Good night (7161) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother

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(970): they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother http://tfl.nu/e7je

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.

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(403): Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed. http://tfl.nu/yrbs

Replies (7) Good night (814) Bad night (1416) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?

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(724): My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's? http://tfl.nu/cp3t

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(330): View more from Ohio

hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?

(614): View more from Ohio

is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?

(330): View more from Ohio

how did you know?

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(330): hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something? (614): is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'? (330): how did you know? http://tfl.nu/tzki

Replies (5) Good night (2289) Bad night (408)
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(408): View more from California

I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.

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(408): I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident. http://tfl.nu/gd86

Replies (6) Good night (1926) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.

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(214): This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family. http://tfl.nu/r35r

Replies (4) Good night (222) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.

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(715): i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy. http://tfl.nu/dafx

Replies (0) Good night (789) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt

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