if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster