the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.