People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died