We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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