Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just had sex bonerless
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
