I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
