Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
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