What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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