So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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