she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
