I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
