My room smells like vodka and shame
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
