OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
