I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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