dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The air taste purple.
Randomize
