I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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