Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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