i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
