OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The uberlube is also flammable
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
