if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
