Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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