why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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