After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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