did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
