shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
