I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
