just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
