wake up i wanna do it froggy style
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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