porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im six kinds of drunk right now
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
