Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.