Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.