two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
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I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
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I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.