it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected