NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
where does the pee come out of this thing
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot