: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
