Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
