My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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