It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
wow bdsm is so cute
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